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Thu, June 5, 2014

Blonde jokes

By request....

A listener named Diane (don't know if she is blonde or not) sent in an email to the show saying she really enjoyed my reading of some dumb blonde jokes the other day. She wanted to know if I could post them on my blog.

Ask, and (sometimes) your receive.

--Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

--A redhead tells her blonde step-sister, "I slept with a Brazilian...."
The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

--Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

--What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

--What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes?
A: She sticks it in the microwave!

--What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

--How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

--Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for two hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

--Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath?
She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.

--How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

--What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?
A: Siamese twins

--Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

--Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.

--How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?
A: There is white out on the screen.

--What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

--What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.

--How do you drown a blonde?
A: Tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool.

--Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: They can't remember the number.

--How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions.


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