One of the fun things the last couple of weeks has been watching the reactions of my co-hosts here on Krause & Co. as they hear the details of the Suring High School strip search incident. It starts with the mouth agape, as they learn of girls being forced to disrobe to their underwear in front of school staff in a bathroom. That is followed by the scrunched up forehead and turned up nose as we detail pat downs conducted by the superintendent. And then comes the questioning: “Why would someone think they could do that to kids in a school?” along with: “And nobody called the parents?” And my answer is “They do it because they really believe those are ‘their kids'”.
Last month, I took today’s parents to task for abdicating so many of their responsibilities to the public educational system–but let’s keep in mind that most of the “services” provided by schools today were suggested by those within the schools themselves–and were not demanded by parents at large. But when you feed, babysit, entertain, transport, medicate, counsel, clothe and bathe children long enough, you are likely to start thinking of them as your own.
And that is why the boundaries that used to exist between the roles of parents and educators have shifted so dramatically in the past few decades. Actually, “boundaries” isn’t even the right word anymore because they are literal walls. At my childhood grade school we had “open house days” for parents. Our Moms (Dad had to work during the day) would sit in chairs surrounding the classroom and watch us learn. It was an awesome feeling to answer a teacher’s question correctly or go to the chalkboard and work out math problems in front of my Mom. And we got to eat lunch together!!
Now, parents coming into a school during the day are treated almost like intruders. They require security checks and name badges and escorts in the hallways. And before you shout out “school shootings!” tell me how many of those incidents have involved parents of students coming to the schools to shoot it up? And when there are actual security issues at schools, what is the first thing districts tell us in the media to pass along? “Parents should not come to pick up their children.”
Districts have developed written “Don’t tell the parents” policies as well. Schools really believe that parents should not know that their kids want to be called different names and identify as different genders, or that they are sexually active and are seeking birth control. This is done under the auspices of “making the kids feel safe”. Imagine having that much distrust in the people you serve that you consider them to be a threat to their own children’s wellbeing (or what you consider to be “wellbeing”).
Parents have even been walled off from the curriculum inside their children’s schools. I remember attending school board meetings years ago where textbook selections were approved–in public. I reviewed a year’s worth of agendas for both the Appleton and Oshkosh school boards and found NO action items pertaining to source material selections. Curriculum committees have replaced public action on choosing teaching materials–and school boards merely approve their purchase as line items buried deep in budget documents.
Remember a few years back when videos went viral of parents’ frustration in trying to help their kids learn math? The way we learned through rote memory gets marked as “wrong” today because we didn’t use “quadrants” or “create tens”. I almost strained my eyes rolling them so hard when I read about the growing number of districts adopting “no homework” policies. The argument for that was “not all kids have a home environment conducive to learning” or “children are stressed by their long days at school and need time to decompress”. But when kids don’t have to log onto the tablet or ask for help from Mom or Dad, Mom and Dad have no idea what the kids are learning. And who can forget the shame of “have your parents sign this test you flunked”?
The walls between schools and parents appeared to be impenetrable–and educators felt safe to do whatever they wanted behind them–until the pandemic hit. Suddenly, all of the learning had to take place at home. Educators had to turn over control of materials to parents. And moms and dads stuck at home with the kids finally got to see what was going on all day–and some were not happy. It’s being dubbed a “culture war” now–but the battle was being fought covertly for decades (and one side didn’t even know it was going on).
I’ve never attended a Suring School Board meeting, so I’m not sure if they have the same disclaimer read before public comment sessions that the Appleton and Oshkosh boards read, warning parents that any accusations naming school personnel would be cut off and could subject the commenter to legal action. Remember, the only reason we know about the Suring incident is because the parents of the kids involved demanded answers from the school board itself in open session. And who can forget the father of a Virginia girl sexually assaulted in her own school being hauled away in handcuffs and being made the poster dad for calls to have the FBI investigate parents who criticize school boards as “domestic terrorists”?
So here is a homework assignment for all of us. I want you to really think hard about this one question: “Whose kids are these?”
