Thanksgiving brings together generations of family to share not just food, but love and respect. Although, I doubt there will be as much of the last two as there has been in the past. There is growing animosity between those categorized as Millennials, Gen Z, and even Gen Alpha and their Baby Boomer grandparents and great-grandparents. Much of that animosity is based on a belief spreading among younger Americans that Boomers have accumulated some sort of “ill-gotten wealth” and are now hoarding it away from succeeding generations by doing such things as continuing to live in their paid for houses and voting against Democratic candidates promising a bunch of free stuff.
One of the arguments made by the youngsters is that the Boomers “had it soooo easy” in building career and financial success. They inherited a booming economy, society bent to meet their needs and desires, technology created in the 1970’s thru the 1990’s created new job fields instead of eliminating entire sectors. And that tax laws allowed them to get away with not paying their “fair share” for decades. As polls show, those under 35 overwhelmingly believe that there is no way that they will have even a fraction of the life enjoyed by the Boomers–and they are pissed off about that.
In some cultures, get-togethers are an opportunity for the elders to share the family story. An oral tradition of how past generations survived, persevered, thrived, and created the society and world in which succeeding generations live. And this Thanksgiving might be a great time for Boomers to share what it was “really like” throughout their lifetimes.
I can tell you a pretty good version of my parents’ story. My father went to Milwaukee School of Engineering out of high school. He worked to pay his tuition, which in relation to tuition of today was very cheap. But on the campus that he attended, the entire administrative staff was housed in a two-floor building. There were not special “houses” or administrators catering to every minority group. No Vice Chancellors of Community Engagement, no Directors of Equity, and no Center for Student Belonging. The dorms featured two desks, two beds, two dressers, a heater, and two closets that were smaller than phone booths (look up what those were, kids). Bathrooms were shared by everyone on the floor. If you wanted an apartment-style living arrangement with privacy and more space, you could pay for that off-campus. Food service was cafeteria-style and there were just a couple of entree and side choices. There were no made-to-order meals, no options for vegetarian, vegan, nut-allergy, gluten-free, low-sodium, free-range, low-fat, or non-dairy diets, no sundae bars, and no midnight snack buffets. After completing his two-year degree in the field of computers, my dad served in the US Army during the Vietnam War era. After his honorable discharge, he used the GI Bill to further his education–a benefit still available to nearly all Americans.
My mother went right from high school to the Fort Howard mill, working on the production line. It was loud, and hot, and you had to stand a lot, and the work was neither exciting nor intellectually stimulating, and it didn’t “make a difference in the world”–but it paid well. Well enough that she could pay cash for her own new car. A car that was cheaper than those sold today–but it did not feature power windows, power locks, power steering, power brakes, power seats, satellite radio, a navigation system, a video entertainment system, touch screen controls, blu-tooth compatibility, accident avoidance system, auto-braking, cruise control, heated seats, cooling seats, heated cup holders, extra USB power outlets, computer-controlled fuel injection, hands-free driving, remote entry, remote start, powered lift-gate, self-parking system, trailer assist, its own app, low-tire pressure alert system, automatic lights, auto-dimming rearview mirror, backup camera, blind-spot alert system, low fuel indicator light, or a voice control system. Those weren’t even options at the time–much less “standard equipment”.
Around the time I turned five, my parents bought their first house–built new in a rural part of Manitowoc County. It was certainly cheaper than a newly-built house today. Their interest rate was in the high single-digits–which was fortuitous, because a few years later it was as high as 18%–three times what you can get for a mortgage in these “high rate times”. The house had three bedrooms, two baths, and a two-stall garage. It did not have air conditioning or central air, there was no garage door opener, no sprinkler system, no home security system, no lawn care service, no central vacuum system, no gas fireplace, no mud room, no built-ins, no vaulted ceilings, no home theater, no whole-house sound system, no intercom, no island in the kitchen, no heated floors, no tile on the walls, no backsplashes, no heated garage, no powered blinds, no camera doorbell, no digital thermostat, and no smart-home app-based control system. The driveway was mostly gravel. My father built his own storage shed, dog kennel, and basement bar over the course of a decade. The house had one phone, attached to the wall in the dining room. There was a limited number of local calls included each month, and long-distance calls were all charged by the minute. The kids were NEVER allowed to make long-distance calls. There was no unlimited data, unlimited text, or “free” long distance available.
My parents watched whatever was on the four channels that came in via the rabbit ear antenna on top of the TV. There was no cable package, no pay movie channels, no satellite TV, no streaming services, no on-demand video, not even a VCR to record shows or to play rented movies. Everyone watched the same thing at the same time. My sister and I did not have TVs in our bedrooms. Even though he worked with them every day, my father did not own a personal computer. There was no internet connection, no software subscriptions, no in-game purchases. My mother got us all the books we wanted to read for free through mail delivery provided by the Manitowoc County Library every couple of weeks. We never owned a video game system.
And pretty much every meal we had as a family was cooked in that house. Going out to eat was such a rarity and a treat, that I can still remember most of times we did it. Dining out was a reward for good grades, or winning a basketball tournament, or as a precursor to a “night out” with mom and dad at the movie theater to see “E.T.”. We never had a meal delivered to our house. My parents made their own coffee at home–either with instant coffee, a percolator on the stovetop, or after a few years, a Mister Coffee. Milk was the only thing mixed in. Grocery shopping focused on what was on sale that week at the store, or what my mother had coupons for. She walked the aisles herself and picked out each of the items on her own. And if we didn’t eat everything at a meal, we ate it for leftovers another night that week. We all ate the same breakfast cereal, bread, soda (RC Cola most weeks), and snacks. Of course, that was much easier back then, since grocery stores were much smaller, and the number of product options was far less than it is today. Orange juice was made from frozen concentrate and the pulp was strained out by hand. We made our own chocolate shakes, our own baked goods, and our own soups.
When my parents bought clothes, tools, household items, or gifts, they had to go to the store to make those purchases. Usually, items were bought on sale at Shopko or Copps (before it became just a grocery store). If something unique was needed, it would be ordered through the JC Penny’s or Sears catalogs and picked up at the store. I can remember having a package delivered by UPS at the house just once during my childhood. What could be handed down from a boy to a girl was reused. My mother patched up our jeans and resewed torn hems in other clothes.
Our vacations were taken to such exciting locales as Santa Claus Land in Indiana, Mammoth Caves in Kentucky, the Soo Locks in Sault Ste Marie, Michigan, Eagle River (before the Illinoisians took over up there), and Wisconsin Dells (pre-major waterpark days). When traveling, we stayed in motor lodges (again, look it up, kids) and motels–many of which had no pools, no playgrounds, no fitness centers, no hot tubs, no free cocktail hours, and no complimentary breakfast. We brought food from home in the cooler, and would often have sandwiches at rest stops. There was no “annual Disney trip”, no “extended family cruises”, and no time shares. We entertained ourselves with the alphabet game, these books that allowed you to play “hidden games” with a yellow highlighter pen, or travel bingo with the plastic sliding squares to highlight the windows. There were no portable DVD players, no Ipads, no Ipods, and no noise-cancelling headphones. If you wanted music, you would enjoy what ever could be picked up on the radio.
In terms of modern life, you might think that my parents were “stingy”. But these stories actually show how little there was to spend money on in their younger years. Sure, I had friends who lived in bigger houses and some had Atari when that came out. But everyone just “had less” and things weren’t nearly as “convenient” as they are now. And that allowed most Baby Boomers to avoid crippling debt, save for retirement, and still live what at the time was considered a middle class lifestyle–which today would sound more like “barely getting by”.
Alas, sharing these stories at the Thanksgiving table next week likely won’t mend fences between the younger generations and “the olds”. Those not glued to their phones and tuning out everything going on around them will just roll their eyes and groan at grandma and grandpa going all “back in my day”. They think they deserve everything that their grandparents worked to get–and that once they get control of the powers of government, they can just make everyone give them what they want.
Meanwhile, us Gen X’ers will just be keeping our head down and enjoying the meal because we don’t want to cause any trouble. You know how we are.
